scraggly cretin staring back at me
i wish i had my digital camera, i loaned it to a girl and when she tried to return it i told her to hang on it to for as long as she needed cuz i was trying to sleep and i didn't wanna deal with her coming by. but the reason i want it is to document my appearance, i dont look like me at all. My hair is long and scraggly, my goatee is thick and scraggly as well. and i wore my contacts for like a week straight, i didnt realize cuz i usually take them out when i sleep but i stayed p for 3 days straight, took a few hours nap then stayed up for 2 days and then slept for 2 dayswithout taking them out. Well then my right eye got beet red, swollen half shut and puss-ed. So now i have to wear glasses for like 2 weeks. that and the fact i dont smile at all anymore, i dont resemble myself much at all. i look like the mug shot of Paul Reubens( peewee herman) when he was arrested in Sarasota Florida masturbating in a porno theatre. i wanna grow my hair a little longer, bleach it and start wearing contacts again, so i look like Kurt Cobain and then OD on heroin, survive only to later blow my head off with a shotgun.

matt called me to see if i was still alive he said lots of ppl online have been wondering about my disapearance, just cuz i'm tired of living off IM, living in the past, not experiencing the future and all i do is bitch about my problems online which annoys ppl. but i guess its nice to know some ppl would notice my presence when i'm gone.

in closing, ...i really hate posting on here now, i dont know why i just wasted my time