Danny Who's Journal

Subject:	dans deviously deceptive drunk dancing dudes
Time:	4:34 am.
Music:	rufus wainwright.

drunk again ill let u in on my trivialities....

something is in the air tonight, someting devious...i was at ryan and teggys again, and lets prelim this with the fact that i am there everyweekend if not several days a week....and tonight was rediculous, speller devil may care, so much anger and confusion was out and about among some of the party guests tonight, and i kept trying to get people to smile and dance it off, just dance, how can u want to fight that jerk if ur dancing and smiling.... some guy who claims that the guys at 1053a are his boys, tried to bounce smitty, me, jeremy, alan and john, for no reason, and im sorry but ryan and teggy are our boys, johhny and brad are out aquaintences, and none of us had ever seen the kid before, but dancin is nice medicine....we were on our way out anyway, but the kid wanted none of us, well fuckhim, dance it up dance it up...

tonight was just too drama/hostile at the parties that i was baflled, at least 6 counts of aggressive behavior from all sides of me, i was hangin out and just happy to be alive and kids are fighting over beer pong, people standing near their trucks, peeing outside...among others. and Kevin, kb, came home and said his whole night was ruined by drama and infighting, what was going on tonight?

since ive been back ive been watching james's webcam, i'd give u the link but its only workign so far for people on the jmu network and i dont want to link to somehting that will just error anyway. itll beon cannedjam when he gets it working right...now im watching him trying to sleep, but really just fidgeting cuz he knows hes on camera...he had the cam on his tv for a while and was showing some lesbian soft core that was on hbo or something and was making hand shadow puppets of like dogs biting the strap on that was being worn by one girl and "sucked" by another...sucked is in quotations because, what? whats the point of pleasing some plastic rubber? u are just kind of ignoring ur lesbian heritage if u are sucking a fake dick, and the one wearing it was pretending to like it, come on who writes this bullshit...

james seems to be out cold now, my legs are kind of numb, i feel like my whole body needs a good stretch, like a cat arching its back and clawing at the ground, raaarrrr....i thought i had a lot to say in this update but i can only think of one more topic which i was kind of saving to write thoughtfully and sober as not to...as not to...well something i cant think, theres a word or phrase i meant to go there, but i lost it, but i jsut wanted to mention sarah because i have been hanging out with her alot since i first met her a few days ago, and she said i better mention her, and something nice, well she might not have specified something nice, but why would i say something mean? hi sarah...but anyway we really are very quite similar, mostly in weirdness and some other qualities we ran down today. so..."dont secondquestion yourself"...so yay

also i have been getting some rediculous, very scary, very real deja-vu, do i dream the future, or is everything so similar that my brain thinks ive seen it before..the other night driving around with sarah i swear i have dreamt the same exact moment in time before, the place, the car, the feeling, her words...and when i dreamt it it meant nothing to me because it was so real but so unfamiliar and now it comes to life, and tonight at the party i had several of the same experiences, and after i was drunken yellling to everyone how weird it is, then i had to sit and contemplate something this, as marty mcfly would say, HEAVY.

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Subject:	frogs ribbit'in jibberish in my mind
Time:	6:23 pm.

i want to talk a little more soberly and in depth on Deja Vu, it is such a fascinating mystery...i know i am not alone or unique in this but, i have for most of my life expreienced Deja Vu, the feeling of having had already seen or experienced something..for me it usually comes in moments, fleeting glimpses of a way something feels and the still frame of my surroundings and often a word or phrase that triggers it. David O sent me a link to howstuffworks.com that talks about deja vu...

while reading, i understood that in some cases in which i have experienced this deja vu, it was no more than a weird feeling of the repetition of something familiar, and this is not necessarily explainable, but some theorize that :

"Another potential explanation involves a glitch in the exquisitely timed processes of perception and cognition. This theory proposes that sensory impressions of a current experience get detoured in the brain and are not immediately perceived. The information is, however, stored as a memory. This split-second delay in cognition creates the unsettling impression that the event "is being experienced and recalled simultaneously," (Time magazine).

this theory could account for many of the times i have experienced the feeling of deja vu, but not for some...These past experiences over the previous few days, on which i commented about in yesterdays drunken slur, were something else entirely. I dreamt about these moments in time, whether i had fully functional dreams and only recalled moments when i awoke, or i only dreamt the moments themselves...but i woke up and consciously recognized these moments, just short experiences, but i was conscious enough of them to think about it, and wonder about what the rest of the dream's context was...

and then days later i experienced the same moments again. this is not a brain slip that allows me to mistake present for past, i was fully aware of these moments days ago, and then relived them. There are other theories for deja vu, some dealing with wish fulfillment, and i wonder if this would fall into that category, perhaps it meant i was looking for the same moment from my dream subconsciously or something, i dont' really understand the full meaning behind the wish fulfillment theory, in that i wasnt trying to relive a dream, some sort of hopeful experience i wished to live out in reality, these were just moments, nothing spectacular or deserving of fulfillment.

and speaking of DEJA VU...this is familiar, Ebay removed my Pete and Pete Auction due to yet another count of violating its Recordable Media Copyright Policy...damnit, once again, alf is still fine, but pete and pete is gone, and it was an hour from ending and was over 60 bucks when i checked last night, just after i bought 50 bucks worth of new blank tapes, and since it was removed i cant even find out who bid on it to contact them directly...well im not sure what i'm going to do this time, last year when this happened i reworded and relisted the auction in a slightly more ambiguous way to avoid suspicion, but that was also removed, and then i took a 6 month break from selling, only to come back recently with a vengence, rip roaring out the gate, making over 500 bucks in a 2 weeks...but anyway, ill figure it out, but to avoid those bastards at ebay, just buy my videos directly from me here and ummm here.

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