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Wednesday, November 5th, 2003

Subject:this isnt usually how i play the game
Time:6:58 pm.
pain revisitedhey, i've been sick, still am sick and speaking of which this is so painful i dont even know why im bothering...ive got something disgustingly wrong with my body, just constant blinding pain...i have nothing in my head but little men playing deathmetal loud enough to drive hostage takers to surrender, so i was sitting in Philosophy today writing stream on consciousness during the lecture just to pass the time, and figured i'd put my mishmashed scrawlings up here because i really have nothing else, its a mix of crap and bits of philosophy i was overhearing, well whatever its all crap, and hey it will get you inside my head..and maybe you can tell the little men to turn their amps down, i need some sleep.

[forgot my book, brought notebook, why? i dont know, i never bring it. i wish i had qtipped i have water in my ears and its driving me slowly mad. thump thump thats the sound of my finger pushing my ear flap into my ear to tamp the water itch...individualism, liberalism- mill/collectivism- marx...fear the turtle, well yes its huge like a prehistoric beast. harm, utility, minority, one does with ones freedom, mill is interesting on this issue, because who do you worry about being harmed? the majority? government doesnt have the right to harm urself. suicide is illegal but other harm to urself is legal but harm to other is always illegal. governent cant restrict you from smoking or eating fatty foods, but drugs are illegal , im confused whats the point of the argument/lesson. seatbelts, drunk in public, motorcycle helmet laws these are all government things to protect you. in almost every situation someone else is effected by you self-harm.

i got drafted.. to the NBA?.. no to vietnam. forget your pie, forget your dad and his desire for a testosterone filled offspring. i hate this place, i hate living here, why couldntyouhaveusedacondom?..we didnt use a condom cuz your mother likes it raw...

karl Marx bothers, the brothers warner, yakko, wakko and dot, pinky and the brain, good feathers, "historocity" is that a word, a george bush word?

pain, pain, like you know your right or whatever that formerly unreleased nirvana song, my head is being stabbed like a cantalope cut in half and being scooped at with a sharpened melon baller

page 600 and i forgot my book, great, what do i do now, just keep writing, keep swimming just keep swimming, angel gonzalez, they call me speedy gonzalez, i took a 5 minutes shower today, so fast, speedy claxton, how did i get from keep swimming to angel? bougeiousie, proliteriat, bourgeiousie, music , madonna, guy ritchie, cowboy hate and lesbian limo, the working class people are smart enough, their are more of us than them and an entire revolution. bourgeious society...aristocracy, aristotle, plato, indiana jones game by lucas arts, he needed to follow platos map to find atlantis, i could never get past that one part, Lucas arts games were great. X-wing, Day of the tentacle with Maniac Mansion, the game within the game, Sam and Max was so funny and clever, what about that game with aliens and money was in the form of credits on a chip in your body and you got taxis from planet to planets. he's 48 going on 49, hes not that old, he said he was older than dirt, got the same bday as danny devito and scorcese..i think my bday is nicholson and i know its my cousins Jim's...thanksgiving, i love that day, warmth and family, football and over eating, great day of eating, the state sketch about thanksgiving is good, something about thanksgiving is an italian only holiday cuz columbus was italian and he would something something..ghandi, meatballs, that girl from JAG has nice website, class is almost over, i need to look over my music powerpoints for my test at 3:30 and listen to those samples.

test on friday in here.]


deep red brick stacked to the heavens,
stark contrast to bluest skies,
was deep red of embarassments weight,
caught telling lies
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