Danny Who's Journal

Time:

3:58 am.

Well im done with finals, you care, i'm telling you, i almost slept through my final today though, thank Karthik for waking me up fifteen minutes up before the test...otherwise i would have been screwed. And I was groggy and unshowered, three days of unshoweredness cuz I stayed up for the 2 days previous and hadnt changed...and the test starts in 15 minutes and i have to go one way to Market One Eatery to drop off my 27 pages of philosophy gold to my professor before my exam, and then get across campus to ISAT for my exam. In fifteen minutes, and damnit if I didn't do it perfect and I might add with grace and style.

i hope I'm Scott Wolf next

The reason I didn't wake up is because, I have problems with sleep. I am something entirely different alltogether. I can't control the turning off of the alarm clock when I'm sleeping, I may even seem awake, you might be talking to me, but I often have no clue where I am, and who I am. This morning I thought that I was Neve Campbell. I was dreaming that I was the former Party of Five star and I was on a talk show explaining why I had taken a hiatus from acting for a while and explaining my comeback.

Neve was on the cover of the new FHM, i picked up from my mailbox the day before, part of my free 2 year subscription, one of many, thanks smitty. I had leafed through it, but hadn't ever reached the Neve Campbell section, I stopped after laughing at Tracy Morgan's interview and risquee photo. I'm not sure how I knew she was on the comeback trail, but when I woke up I really still thought I was Miss Campbell and what was I being woken up for, I can sleep when I want, I don't have tests damnit.

Funny you should ask, but no this is not new for me. In my early youth, hell maybe I was ten, the timeframe isnt that important, I would often fall asleep while being able to hear the somewhat scary music from Sherlock Holmes on A&E that my dad would be watching. I don't know if it's because of the music, or because I had watched an episode where a man was beaten and killed by being beaten with a rock in the soft part of the bottom of the back of the skull, where it meets the neck and I was scared because I considered that area dangerously unprotected and soft on my head. But I often got nightmares where I would wake up and walk around, but was still so asleep that I wouldn't listen to reason. I was so in fear of my life, or going to jail for something, that i would try to run away or hide and it would take my dad hours of slowly waking me back into sanity while watching latenight re-runs of Sanford and Son. I wouldn't remember very much the next day.

One particular time that for some reason stuck in my head, was that one night I was asleep and I had a crazy night terror thing where I thought that I had killed someone and that the gun used in the murder was still in my possession. I got out of bed terrified and threw the nothing that was in my hand into the closet and buried it under some toys and clothes, and then ran out of the room in a panic. I was so convinced that I was holding a gun that I actually tried to hide it from the authorities that weren't en route to arrest me. I had these terrors probably every night for months at a time, they'd sometimes come and go, I haven't had one since I was little, but I sometimes, while awake I can hear and can sense something in my head, a confusion where everything people say sounds like yelling, or with a tinge of anger in their inflection...this was a vivid part of the old terrors.

If not for this experience, I would think that that guy who killed his wife when he was sleep walking and claimed he had no clue was full of shit...remember that guy, what a nutjob...well if that isnt the nutjob calling the nutjob a nutjob.

im not joking, i be crazy, what is wrong with me?

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