Current mood:	lazy
Current music:	Alkaline Trio- the metro

I was invited to a party to hang with mike and bewalder and nicole & the count asked me to smoke and go out with him...i probly wont do either just sit and rot

Mike is trying to work with my introverted personality like matt used to and get me out to parties. but its charity, hes doing me a favor by inviting me and i'll just be tagging along.
I appreciate it but i don't really need to party that badly, eventually things will work themselves out like they always have for me...or i will get a major wake up call and realize i'm not that special.

i really dont feel like partying. sitting here gets boring but i think of going out as work. Its like i have to go find a place to go and then i talk to someone about bullshit just to pass the time. or if the party is too crowded and loud i dont talk to anyone and am just uncomfortable. Why should i force myself to do that? I like quiet small parties with good friends...

i go out thinking this is gonna suck, usually by myself or with someone i am not really friends with or i dont wanna be associated with. the beginning sucks but thats what alcohol is for. i end up enjoying myself about half the time and often end on a bad note and go home thinking partying is dumb.

the only reason to party is to avoid the emabarassment of people asking me what i did last nite. If i was a liar i could avoid the embarassment and tell them a fib and not have to party.

if i wasnt a drinker i could find some other non drinkers to hang with but thats not what i want at all.

at least not drinking and partying that much should help me get good grades and keep my body healthy...ahahaha or not...the drugs, junk food, laziness and sleeping habits will prevent anything good from coming from this whole experience.