updates on health from the kid you kinda hoped had died
hey, i'm sick, i might have mono, blood work pending...doc says looks like mono, i have fevers and tonsilitis and all my glands all over my body are swollen


but i've lost some weight, 15 pounds or so, thats an actual picture of what i look like now, i dont weigh myself on a regular basis but you can see it in my face...it makes sense because it has hurt so much to eat that i've gone eating nothing for days, only swallowing down some chicken soup, orange juice, apple sauce and pills, all of which felt like broken glass going down. I know that when i got weighed in the middle of the summer when i broke my foot i was 188 and thats usually around my weight..but when i got weighed on friday which was only a few days into my non-eating escapade i was down to 170...


and thats about when my tonsils, you know my hangy-ball got really swollen and elongated and could touch the back of my teeth, this was tough cuz if i moved my head or breathed the wrong way it would move from its resting spot on my tongue and go into my throat and gag me, causing me to throw up the nothing that was in my stomach, awesome huh? fuckin useless hangy ball, just cut it off at birth like the umbliilical chord or the foreskin.


my brother dave thought i should capitalize on this great weight loss technique, so let me know if you are a wrestler trying to make his weight, or just need to drop a few pounds real quick, and for 20 bucks ill cough and drool into your mouth, and voila! u'll be sick and in you too can lose 15-30 pounds in just a few days.


well im a little better today, the Prednisone im on is great for stoping gland swelling, so now my crotch, underarms, neck and throat are pretty much back to normal. My hangy ball is still being a dick, or more like a scrotum hanging and bouncing and laying on my tongue.


since my throat was cool today, i was able to ween back onto solid foods, which makes me happy, so maybe i wont get any more emaciated, i mean i have always been a stones throw, or a pebbles nudge from emaciated anyway, so losing weight is not really a great idea.


but this i can do, if this is it, long hangy ball, lots of pills, constant fatigue, solid foods, lots of liqiuds, lots of sleep, this i can do for a month or however long mono wants to stay...but that throat closed up to the point i can barely throw up no less breath shit, that had to go


I have to apologize slightly for my previous doctor bashing...I still stand by my comments but they may not have been warranted days before i needed serious medical attention and recieved it better than expected. my doctor, nurses and the even the woman at lapcorp that took my blood are the nicest people ever. i still dont enjoy the act of seeing a doctor, trying to relate what you are feeling to someone else, usually when you arent feeling well, and they play guessing games and tell you to come back when it doesnt work, so they can rule one thing out, and go after another, but when they really care, thats a great thing.


my doctor is a great smiley guy who really tries, and the nurse knew i had a fever and she got me a pillow and blanket and ice water and turned out the light and let me nap while i was in the little waiting room and the doctor wasnt ready to see me yet, now that is service...and the woman who took my blood was so nice and caring and gave me lots of advice on mono, and even made fun of my bad breath to ease my worries, which was rank cuz i couldnt swallow and i had a dead decaying hangy-ball sitting on my tongue and probably remnants of stomach acid of a gag episode on my teeth.


but the pharmacists at walmart blow, they had never seen a fucking new jersey insurance card, NJ wheres that?, isnt walmart a large company with stores over the US, and your computers cant handle a national insurance company like Blue Cross Blue Shield, because the plan holder's permanent address in NJ, i understand that some places dont take every insurance, and i even kind of can forgive that fact that i had to spend 45 minutes on the phone with my insurance company in at the receptionist's desk at my orthopedist when i broke my foot, so they would accept my insurance, even thougth the Blue Cross Blue Shield website doctor finder reccomended this doctor for me because i was supposedly "covered"...but a national insurance company and a national pharmacy, and they tell me to come back in half an hour and i get there and they hand my cards back to me and say "oops, we couldnt get it clear, so we dont have your perscription, i dont know what went wrong, wait 20 minutes, we'll try again"..i mean fuck you, i am having trouble breathing, feverish and im gaggin on my tonsils and you're fucking up my meds...ass


49ers quarterback, Tim Rattay, went to scotsdale community college, home of the Scotsdale Fighting Artichokes, fantastic stuff the research team at monday night football can find